Why would you Hold Yourself Hostage?
Post date: Nov 07, 2018 6:47:11 PM
One of the hardest things I had to learn to do was forgive myself as I have made some mistakes both in Business and my personal life. But I found out that Bitterness doesn't help me move forward, but rather makes it tough to think clearly, and move forward mentally! Forgive yourself, and let it go! Most people make a lot of mistakes over their lifetime, and we can't dwell on the past. I had an interesting revelation when I realized not forgiving myself is like trying to drive forward while looking in the rear-view mirror, and then wondering why you keep running into barriers!
Many people think that by holding out and being bitter or not forgiving ourselves we are somehow making our wrong right. It Doesn't! Not at all! You have to forgive yourself, and anyone else involved. Matter fact, if you don't forgive yourself, you are basically holding yourself hostage, and not allowing yourself to move forward! That's like drinking poison, and expecting someone else to die when you are really just holding yourself back from your full potential.
Don't do as I have done, and hold on to my mistakes, or failures, while telling people or even myself that I had moved on. Be Real. Praying to God has really helped me to find lasting Peace and the ability to really forgive myself and move on, knowing that it's not in my own strength, but in His! He is my Strength and stays, and He Gives me what I need to be all I can be for Him.
Sometimes our hurt goes so deep, and it’s been there so long, you have to have supernatural help to be set free. But you do have supernatural help – you have the Bible Colossians 3:16 tells us, “let the Word of Christ dwell in you richly.” When the Word of God is dwelling in you richly, you can overcome!
Obviously, if you are still harboring unforgiveness in your heart towards anyone, you haven’t forgiven them, just like I hadn’t. True forgiveness is to release the one who has done you wrong. God wants your heart to be free, and forgiveness is the way to get there.
One thing you have to understand is that forgiveness is a faith proposition, not a feeling! I heard someone once say it this way: forgiveness is the decision you make once, forgetting is the decision you make daily. I think that says it perfectly! It helps me know that I shouldn’t be surprised when feelings resurface after I’ve forgiven someone.
Feelings follow after faith. Many of us can say that we’ve tried to forgive, but like me, most people find that the horrible feelings come back to choke us. But here’s what I want you to know — feelings have nothing to do with faith.
Talking about principles of forgiveness, I have found that to meditate on God’s Word, then write down who I forgave and when. That way, when the thoughts and feelings come crashing back (and they usually do!) causing us to think, “oh no, I didn’t forgive!” we can point to what we've written and said, “Too late, devil – I already forgave them. It’s done. Now my feelings have to line up with what the Bible says.”
That’s a normal process for anyone who chooses to forgive. Don’t let your feelings fool you as I did. Sometimes it takes a while to renew your mind to forgiveness, and your feelings often have to catch up.
Romans 12:2 says, “Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind.” The Living Bible says not to copy the behavior or customs of this world, but be a new and different person with a fresh newness in all you do and think. Then you will learn from your own experience how his ways will really satisfy you.
The world tells us to hold a grudge — make someone pay for what they’ve done; get revenge! But the Bible says don’t conform to that way of thinking — don’t copy it. Instead, be a new and different person with a fresh newness in all you do and think. Be transformed.
When we renew (change) our mind to think of forgiveness the way God does, it can change the condition of a hurting heart. It’s really just changing our thoughts to agree with God’s thoughts, by reading and doing his Word. In Isaiah 55:9, God says, “For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are My ways higher than your ways, and My thoughts than your thoughts.”
God’s not saying to us, “Haha, my thoughts are higher than yours!” He’s saying, “Come on up and think as I think — this is where the freedom is!” He can help us change our mind to the point where forgiveness becomes second nature to us and we can live a life of freedom and joy.